A lot of people I’ve spoken with recently have talked about how important authenticity is to them. They’re interested in 

  • Being more authentic,
  • Living their truth,
  • Being more aligned with their moral compass and values.

But how do you actually do these things, and become a more authentic person?

Is it a switch in mindset, or is there some action that you do to create that authenticity? Is it simply about telling the truth? Or setting boundaries?

The secret is this – with every decision you make, and every choice you face….you’ve gotta follow your heart.

Pretty soon, I’m going to share a 5-step process to being more authentic. But for now…how do you make decisions?

Do You Follow the Brain, Gut or Heart?being more authentic


In the past, I suggested that clients ‘think things through’ before deciding or choosing what would best suit them. That’s using logic.

Then I learned that most decisions are based 90% on emotion, and 10% on logic….and that you can wind up squeezing your brains dry trying to overcome your more-significant emotions.

Consequently, I decided that listening to your gut gives you the real answer to any challenging situation or decision.

But recently, I changed my thinking on this yet again!


A dear friend told me that listening to your gut is fine…but that’s also where fear resides. And that really resonated with me.

Why the Heart Wins

The truth, and the right answer to any decision, is always within your heart. Here are a few real examples:

When someone in my business recently asked me how to approach a difficult conversation with a client, I suggested that she mentally get out of fear and into a place of love, and speak frankly from the heart.

  • Result: the conversation went perfectly and smoothly.

When a friend would normally be yelling at her kids, she pulled back and centered herself around the love in her heart, with self-compassion and kindness.

  • Result: she spoke with love to her children, got a great response and felt good about her parenting.

When a client was deciding how much exercise she wanted to do, I could tell that she was conflicted. Her head told her what she ‘should’ do, and that’s what came out. When I asked her what her heart told her, she changed the goal entirely. 

  • Result: she achieved her goal with joy, enthusiasm, empowerment and a sense of confidence and competence.

A friend was unsure about what to wear to a party. She wanted to ‘fit in’ – but at the same time, she wanted to be herself and wear something a little different.

  • Result: She wore the outfit that felt like her, in her heart. People complimented her on her taste and style but regardless of that, she felt great.

Life throws you in all kinds of directions and creates obstacles and overwhelm. And the inner voice in your head is full of advice about what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ do.

But at the end of the day, the thing that is really right for you is within your heart. Connecting with this is the first step to living your truth and living an authentic life. 

Here’s a great TED talk on living authentically

being more authentic

A 5-Step Process for Being More Authentic

Here’s how to do it: when faced with a decision or choice, ask yourself:

  1. “where do I physically feel this in my body?”
  2. “what is the thought going through my head?”
  3. “is that thought real, or just a perception or judgement?”
  4. “what does my heart say?”
  5. “what is the sense of ‘knowing’ that comes after listening to my heart?”

That last point is super important. It’s one thing to feel and experience ‘what feels right’ within your body. But the sense of knowing is an important key to being more authentic.

The sense of knowing that you have is the confirmation that it’s right. It gets rid of any lingering doubts you might have had….so you can feel good about your decision or choice, and know that it’s right for you and therefore, totally authentic.

What do you think – how do you really know when you’re being authentic?

Let me know in the comments!